Parents & Teens Should Make Rules Together

/ Miami Teen Counseling/
Parents & Teens Should Make Rules Together

Many of my patients’ parents have an expectation of complete obedience. They tell me things like, “She just doesn’t listen,” or, “He doesn’t have any respect for the rules.” These discipline failures turn into blame games—the parents blame the adolescent and the adolescent complains about the parents. 

Read More

Why Teenager Must Confront Their Emotions

/ Miami Teen Counseling/
Why Teenager Must Confront Their Emotions

Many teens see emotions as something that interferes with their lives and must be strictly controlled. These teens, some of whom I see in my practice, do not have a working understanding of the usefulness of emotions. Often, part of their therapy is educating them about the importance of emotions and why acknowledging them is useful.

Read More

Parents, Do You Listen to Your Teenager?

/ Miami Teen Counseling/
Parents, Do You Listen to Your Teenager?

Your teenager starts to explain his perspective and you immediately hear the flaws in his logic. The next natural step is to point out the problems with his reasoning followed by an overwhelming temptation to give advice — even though you know that the conversation will end in frustration and disappointment. Yet, you live with the faint hope that today might be different; today he will listen and understand.

Read More

Teenagers Want Parents Who Set Rules

/
Teenagers Want Parents Who Set Rules
The best parenting: firm with rules and open emotionally It happens, but very rarely. A sensitive and intelligent teenager articulates what most teenagers are can’t, “I want my parents to be strict with me.” I often witness a big irony when it comes to parenting teenagers: if you give them everything they want, they will resent you for it. Because in giving them everything they want, you’re not giving them what they need. Teenagers need consistent rules, they need you to be firm, and they need to be frustrated by healthy limits to prepare them for the real world. For many teenagers, getting everything they want creates a sense of lack of preparedness and fear that they won’t be able to succeed in life.
Read More

Parent’s Guide to Rewarding and Punishing Teenagers

/
Parent’s Guide to Rewarding and Punishing Teenagers
Parents are often curious about what I think about their way of disciplining their teenagers.  They often want to know if they are doing something wrong, especially if they feel that what they are doing is not working.  As a teen counselor, here’s how I like to think about punishments and rewards. There are three basic behavioral rules to keep in mind when disciplining a teenager...
Read More

Counseling Can Be Helpful for Teenagers and Parents

/
Counseling Can Be Helpful for Teenagers and Parents
Warning: the first step towards helping your teen might involve helping yourself. Counseling teenagers is a tricky business. So much of what teenagers do and who they are is a reflection of their parents. So when they make their way into my practice, we need to work at changing not only the teenager’s patterns, but the parents’ as well. Parents who are willing to reflect on the role they have played in the development of their teenager’s problems typically have teenagers who will improve more rapidly and change in deeper and more lasting ways.
Read More

5 Ways Parents Can Help Their Teens Manage Anger

/
5 Ways Parents Can Help Their Teens Manage Anger
Teenagers have a lot to be angry about but they are among the worst at expressing it. Adolescence is a confusing time as teenagers learn to manage physical and mental changes, growing responsibilities, and social pressure all while figuring out who they are and how they fit in. Teenagers express their anger in different ways. As a parent, you know when you teenager is upset. Some explode for all to see and hear while others keep to themselves and shut everyone out. Regardless of how they express anger, it can be a frustrating and overwhelming experience for both teenagers and parents. For parents, it can be difficult to handle your teenager’s anger, especially if it is directed at you. So what can you do to help you teen manage their anger?
Read More

Why Do Teens Question Religion?

/
Why Do Teens Question Religion?
In my practice, teenagers routinely talk about their religion. They frequently question it, bash it or experiment with new ones. Sometimes, when they express their thoughts and feelings about religion, parents and other adults can be taken aback. But during therapy, religion is simply another topic of investigation. What I usually find is that questioning religion is part of their identity formation process and a normal emotional distancing from their parents. While parents may freak out, I see it as a normal part of testing limits during adolescence.
Read More

5 Ways Parents Can Help Teens Get Through Summer

/
5 Ways Parents Can Help Teens Get Through Summer
Summertime can be a challenging time for parents. Work schedules don’t change for many parents yet your teen’s schedule is up in the air, which can cause distress as families adjust. Depending on the age of your children, summer can be more difficult than other times of year. Younger children and tweens are more likely to follow the summer plan you have outlined for them, whether that means more time with the grandparents, a trip to a summer camp, or some summer schooling. On the other hand, older teens are more independent, especially if they drive or have their own car. So as a parent what can you do this summer to keep your teenager off the couch and out of trouble while preserving your sanity?
Read More